This one time, I made a meme & more than 20 million people saw it
I’ve previously written about how my husband enjoys embarking upon irrelevant tasks at the absolute worst times (some of my favorite examples of his nonsense have been published in Jen Mann’s humor...
View ArticleBra Shopping Post-Babies, Or OHMYGOD What Happened To Me?!
I won’t lie, it has been a while. A long, long, looooong while. The last time I bought a new bra was in 2009, and I had been looking for the nursing kind. When my son was born that July, the girls...
View ArticleSmiling is my favorite
Sometimes, people suck. They’re hateful and hurtful and emphatically unapologetic. They’re purposeful and pointed in their words and actions, aiming to cut others with them. Sometimes, people don’t...
View Article2016 Listen to Your Mother Pittsburgh Videos Are Here!
Once we choose our cast, which is a monumental and emotionally exhausting task, we begin an equally laborious labor of love in organizing the individual essays in an order that highlights their...
View ArticleJust Keep Swimming
My 6-year-old is arguing because he is right and I am wrong. My 4-year-old is whining because today is not her birthday. My 2-year-old is screaming because she no longer fits inside my uterus. I’ve...
View ArticleI blinked & you turned 7
Soaking in the tub, timing contractions, my enormous belly an island jutting out of the water. I loved every day of my pregnancy, and even though it’s selfish, I admit it was sad seeing it come to an...
View ArticleThis is What a Decade of Us Looks Like
10 years, 521 weeks, 3,650 days. A decade. I’m not sure what a decade of marriage looks like anywhere else, but around here, it looks a lot like three kids and two dogs a strict family budget ohmygod...
View ArticleThe Parenting Manual They Said Didn’t Exist
What is that boy thinking?! OMG. Why can’t I get through to her?! IF ONLY THERE WERE A HOW-TO MANUAL FOR RAISING KIDS!!!!! Know when I can really use some help with kids? When my oldest brings home...
View ArticleThis Is Why I Write
Like many of you, I spent a lot of time with family at Easter. Over drinks and completely out of nowhere, my aunt posed the question: why do you share so much of your personal life with perfect...
View ArticleMy Baby is Two!
Insurance company woes forced me to part ways with the doctors that delivered my girls, and in a cruel twist of fate, my last appointment with them coincided with my youngest’s birthday. These two...
View ArticleStop Looking At Me, Swan
Walking down the aisle on my Dad’s arm, en route to my would-be husband, I was sweating. It wasn’t the muggy July air, the church’s ancient air conditioner, or my 40-pound dress. It was the anxiety of...
View ArticleBye-Bye Bibs & Blankets
Hey, know what’s bittersweet? Watching a baby turn into a toddler who can no longer be wrapped in blankets like a sweet little burrito, who then refuses to wear a bib because she now realizes no one...
View ArticleI’m The One Pushing
A year ago, I emceed a local women’s conference and met some incredible ladies. Ivette García Dávila was among them. Ivette and I bonded instantly when she asked complete strangers if they had a...
View ArticleThis Adulting Stuff Is For the Birds.
When I spit my toothpaste in the sink, some splatters onto the faucet and, for a second, I think to just leave it. Someone else will clean up. I close my eyes and hear the sounds of my childhood like...
View ArticleA Surefire Way to Piss Off This Lady
As far as temperaments go, I’m not what you’d consider laid back. I’m no incensed insult-slinging Donald Trump, but those who know me best would never use the following words to describe me: chill calm...
View ArticleDon’t Mind Me, I’ll Just Be Over Here Quitting
In third grade, my teacher recommended I be tested for the school’s Gifted Program. I had begged my parents not to make me different, to not give people a reason to expect things of me–things I wasn’t...
View ArticleThe New Face of Romance
A first true love is butterfly wings beating against the brain, clouding good judgement and all reason. An all-consuming, borderline obsession coupled with a physical ache that plagues the body. It’s...
View ArticleA Non-Family Friendly Review of the Polar Express
I bought the tickets in July–I booked the hotel room so early I actually forgot where we were staying and had to call every hotel in the Dennison, Ohio area to confirm our reservation. I get dumb when...
View ArticleThe Time I Ruined My Own Engagement & The Dog Ruined Christmas
A few days before Christmas 2004, my boyfriend of two years took me to a Christmas lights display. It’s no secret that I’m like a toddler in an empty refrigerator box when it comes to Christmas, so the...
View ArticleOn the Eve of My Husband’s Vasectomy
My husband has decided to get the ol’ snip-snip. I have thoughts about this. Many, many thoughts. I try to articulate them to him, but because I have the gift of never finding the right words when...
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